calming words keep away the curse of death
by blubachat2
Summary: Mulder comforts Mac during a hard time.


titel: calming words keep away the curse of death  
author: yvonne  
contact: blubachat2@aol.com  
spoiler: after Adrift (JAG) and after season 8 (X-Files)   
disclaimer: JAG belongs to DPB, CBS and Paramount. X-Files belongs to CC, 1013, FOX.  
Thanks to my betareader Lena and thanks to Nina for the title.  
Note: I have had this idea during the time I spend on an intensive care unit of a hospital. Now, one and a half months later, I have had time to write this story.  
- Feedback is welcome! Please let me know what you think. -  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
CALMING WORDS KEEP AWAY THE CURSE OF DEATH  
  
Fairfax Memorial Hospital  
Waiting room  
0335 ZULU  
  
Two people are sitting seperately in the waiting room - a man and a woman.  
Both are lost in thoughts. Both have tears in their eyes.  
  
After a moment, the man reaches into his pocket and takes out a picture.  
  
"This is Dana." he says and shows the picture to the woman.  
"A beautiful woman."  
"Yeah, she is beautiful."  
"Is she having surgery?"  
"Yes, she got shot in the chest." he answers.  
"OH."  
"And you? Your husband? Friend?" he asks.  
"The most important man in my life." she answers.  
"Your father."  
"No, the man I love. My fiancé." she answers and takes a picture out of her wallet.  
"Navy." the man says.  
"Yes."  
"Dana´s father was in the Navy and her brother is in the Navy, too."  
"I am Sarah Mackenzie." she intodruces herself.  
"Fox Mulder."  
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Mulder. But another time, another place would have been better." Mac says.  
"Yes, that´s right... . What happened to him?" Mulder asks.  
"My jealous ex-fiancé tried to kill him."  
"OH."  
"Mic was always jealous when I was talking to Harm. During the rehearsal dinner I realized that Harm is the only one I love."  
"And your fiancé didn't like the idea of you calling the wedding off at the rehearsal dinner. So he tried to kill him." Mulder finishes her sentence.  
"No. The rehearsal dinner was four months ago."  
"Some people can never forget."  
"Yes. Tonight, Mic showed up at my apartment. He attacked Harm with a knife. Now he is in arrest, accused of attempted murder."  
"Your Harm will be fine, like Dana. I need her in my life and the baby needs her, too" Mulder says.  
"She has a child?"  
"Yes."  
"Harm and I want children, too. I hope that we still can." Mac sighs.  
  
Before Mulder can say anything a doctor enters the waiting room.  
  
"Mr. Mulder?"  
"Yes. How is Ms. Scully?" Mulder asks.  
"The bullet broke a rib and let one lung collapse. She lost a lot of blood. But she is going to be OK." the doctor says.  
"Thank God. Can I see her?"  
"Yes later, when she got moved to her room." Then the doctor leaves again.  
"Good news." Mac says.  
"Yes."  
  
They sit a long time in silence - nearly 45 minutes. Then a nurse walks into the waiting room.  
  
"Mr. Mulder?"  
"Yes."  
"Follow me." the nurse says.  
"What is with Mr. Rabb?" Mac asks.  
"I don't know. You will have to wait." she says.  
"He will be fine, too." Mulder says before he leaves the room with the nurse.  
  
Now Mac is alone in the waiting room.  
She now remembers what has happened.  
  
A few hours earlier  
Sarah Mackenzie´s apartment  
  
Harm and Sarah are lying together on her bed, she has her head on his chest and her arm across his stomach. He strikes her hair.  
  
"I love you." she says softly.  
"I love you, too."  
"Harm, I am so happy that you were ready to let go."  
"I am happy, too. I know that my words on the ferry were the reason why you accepted his ring. I have pushed you in his arms. I am sorry, Sarah."  
"Don't be."  
"But... ." Harm starts.  
"No buts anymore." she interrupts him.  
"OK."  
"Promise?"  
"Promise."  
"I like cuddling with you. You are my teddybear." Mac says and smiles.  
"Your teddybear? The famous Harmon Rabb jr. - a teddybear?" Harm laughs.  
"Harm, I am very happy to have you in my life. I need you. Promise me that you will never leave me." Mac lifts up her head and looks at him.  
"Never. I love you. And from now on, I will never leave your side. I will always be there for you for now and forever." Harm answers.  
"That sounds like a promise. A very important promise." Mac says.  
"It sounds like a proposal."  
"Was it?" Mac trails off.  
"Do you want it?"  
"Yes. I want you. Forever in my life. Many children. A house with a white picket fence. A good job and comfortable shoes."  
"OK." Harm nods.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I will ask you when I got a ring and while wearing my dress whites." Harm answers.  
"No, Harm. We neither need a ring nor dress whites. We need our love and nothing more." she answers.  
  
Harm takes a deep breath.  
  
"Would you honor me and become Mrs. Harmon Rabb jr.?" Harm asks solemnly.  
"Yes."  
  
Mac leans forward to kiss him. As their lips meet, he draws her closer, clasping her to him.   
Finally, they part to draw for air.  
  
"Wow." Harm says and smiles.  
"This is something I always wanted: to feel safe and beloved."  
"You are, darling, you are."  
"When I was a child. . . I always wanted... . Promise me that our children don't have the same childhood I have had." Mac looks at him.  
"Oh, Sarah. Never. I promise. Our children will have a wonderful childhood."  
"Do you think I would be a good mother?"  
"The best mother a child could dream of." Harm answers.  
  
Suddenly, a knocking is heard at the front door.  
  
"Who could that be?"  
"I don't know." Mac answers.  
"Wait here. I´ll go and see who it is. Maybe Bud and Harriet." Harm says and crawls out of bed.  
  
The next thing Mac can hear is shattering glass and a scream.  
She runs into the living room and sees Harm lying on the floor, blooding. Mic is standing over him, holding a knife with a bloddy blade in his hand.  
  
"Harm!" Mac screams and kneels down next to him.  
"Sarah, luv, I have lost you. Now you have nothing. Like I do! I have lost you! I don't want you to be happy with him!" Mic says.  
  
A moment later an ambulance and the police arrives. One of her neighbours must have called them.  
  
Back to present  
ICU  
Dana Scully´s room  
  
Mulder sits on a chair next to the bed.  
He holds her hand, carefully, because an IV is in her hand.  
  
"Dana, darling, I am sorry for what has happened to you. It is all my fault. Since the first day we met you were in danger because of me. Dana, you are the most important person in my life. You are the first one who doesn't think of me as „Spooky" Mulder. In your eyes I am Fox Mulder. You accept and love me.for the way I am... . The doctor says you are going to be OK. When all of this is over, the three of us will go on holiday. What do you think? We will drive south and then we´ll show the little one the beach. I´m sure William will love the beach. . . . Dana, please wake up. Say that you forgive me. Please." tears are running down his cheeks.  
  
Waiting room  
  
A doctor walks into the room.  
  
"Mrs. Rabb?" he asks Mac.  
"Yes." she doesn't correct him.  
"Your husband is out of surgery. There was a lot of blood lost because the knife cut an artery. But he is going to be OK. Thank God it wasn't too deep and the ambulance arrived right in time."  
"He could have died?"  
"Yes."  
"God." Mac gasps.  
"But he is going to be OK." the doctor repeats.  
"Can I see him? I need to see him."  
"Later."  
"NO! I need to see him NOW!" Mac starts to feel dizzy.   
  
A moment later everything turns black.  
  
When she awakes, she lies on the floor, the doctor and a nurse are bending over her.  
  
"Mrs. Rabb, everything allright?" the nurse asks.  
"Yes. Please help me up. I need to see him." Mac says and tries to stand up.  
"Mrs. Rabb, you lost consciousness for one minute. Your blood pressure is too low. Can I ask you a question?" the doctor asks.  
"Yes."  
"Are you pregnant?"  
"NO. . . I don't think so." Mac answers.  
"We can do a test, if you want to." he suggests.  
"Yes, but then I need to see Harm." Mac says.  
  
20 minutes later  
ICU  
Harmon Rabb´s room  
  
"Hey sailor." Mac says softly and kisses his forehead.  
  
The sight of Harm lying in bed, unconscious, an IV in his hand, is too much for Mac. She starts to cry again.  
She sits on a chair, her face buried in her hands and cries.  
  
A moment later, she feels a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Ms. Mackenzie, everything allright?" Mulder asks.  
"He is going to be OK. But the doctor says he could have died." Mac answers and turns around to look at Mulder.  
"He could have. But he is going to be OK."  
"Yes, thank God." Mac answers.  
"My Dana is fine. Still unconscious. But fine."  
"I feel guilty for what has happened to Harm. Mic was my fiancé. I am responsible for what has happened tonight." Mac says.  
"You aren't." Mulder says.  
"I am! Mic tried to kill him because he has lost me. Mic didn't want me to be happy with him! It was all my fault."  
"How about the two of us going to the cafeteria, drinking a coffee and talking about it." Mulder suggests.  
"I can't leave him now." Mac protests.  
"He will still be here on our return. Ms. Mackenzie, please." Mulder looks at her askingly.  
"OK." she sighs and stands up.  
  
Cafeteria  
  
Mulder and Mac are sitting together, each with a cup of coffee, at a table and talk.  
  
"When Dana found out that she was pregnant, I was not there for her. I was far away. She always believed that, one day, I´ll return. You have to believe, too. Everything will be fine."  
"Every man I loved is dead. It's like a curse." Mac says.  
  
Mulder is silent for a moment.  
  
"Your Harm is not dead. He is still alive and you two will grow old together." Mulder answers.  
"No. Sometimes things are impossible. I have hoped and prayed that this would never happen. But now, Harm, the man I love with every piece of my heart and soul, lies on the ICU, more dead then alive."  
"Believe me, everything will be fine."  
"I want to believe. But it is hard." Mac answers.  
"I know. . . . In all those years I wanted to believe. I believed in very scary things: paranormal activities, conspiracies. But since Dana and the baby are a part of my life, nothing is the same anymore. They are the most important people in my life. If anything happened to them... . I know that I couldn´t live without them."  
"I can't live without Harm. I need him. He is the air that I breath. He is my sunshine. He is my whole world. Without him, my world is not the same anymore. Like a flower needs sun and water to grow, I need him in my life." Mac starts to cry again.  
"Here." Mulder gives her his handkerchief.  
"Thanks." she tries to dry her eyes.  
"How about if I tell you something and you listen?" Mulder asks.  
"Yes, please."  
"Dana has had cancer. We thought she would die. I have thought about suicide. I wrote a letter. I remember every single word of this letter. I wrote this for Dana´s mother: . . . . Dear Mrs. Scully. When you read this letter, Dana and I are united forever. I can't imagine life without her. Without her my life is not worth living. I love her and I need her. I killed myself because I can't be without her. Maybe our love was never meant to be. But now we are dead, death has united us. Be happy for us Mrs. Scully. We will always be together. Dana will never be alone anymore. Fox Mulder." he recites his letter.   
"Wonderful words."  
"Yeah, but not wonderful circumstances."  
"Now it´s the same situation again." Mac sighs.  
"No. Now we know that they will survive." Mulder says.  
"Maybe."  
"Not maybe. They will be allright. In two weeks, the man you know and love will be back."  
"If he survives." Mac starts.  
"Not if. He will survive." Mulder interrupts her.  
"It is hard to believe. . . . I will marry him as soon as he is able to say: I do." Mac finishes her sentence.  
"Wow, you are impatient." Mulder smiles.  
"Life is too short to be patient." Mac answers.  
"Yes, that's true. . . . How about going back to Dana and your Harm?"  
"OK."  
  
They walk in silence back to the ICU.  
Mulder stops in front of Scully´s room.  
  
"That´s your Dana?" Mac asks and goes into the room.  
"Yes, the most special person in my life." Mulder answers and follows her.  
  
Mac looks around the room, it is similar to Harm´s.  
Dana Scully lies in bed, with the IV in her hand and a tube in her nose.  
The only sound that can be heard is the beeping of the heart monitor.  
  
"It is hard to see the people we love being so close to death." Mac says and turns around.  
  
Mulder stays behind her. Tears are streaming down his face again. Mac takes him in her arms.  
  
"Both will be OK. I hope." she whispers in his ear.  
  
Together they cry in each other´s arms for the people they love, who are lying unconscious on the ICU.  
  
Twenty minutes later, she lifts her head from his shoulder.  
  
"Why does the curse of death seem hunt me? What have I done wrong?" she asks, tears still in her eyes.  
"Nothing."  
"I must have done something for what life puniches me this hard."  
"No."  
"Fox, I haven't had an easy life. I am a recovered alcoholic. I have had an abusive childhood. I killed my first husband. Harm is my anchor in my troubled life." she starts to cry even harder than before because she realizes that her life will be a mess if she looses Harm.  
"Sssh, Sarah, don't go this way. Everything will be fine." he assures her.  
"And what if not?"  
"He will be. I am sure." Mulder assures her again.  
"Can you come with me to his room?" Mac asks.  
"OK. But only for a little while. I don´t want to leave Dana alone for too long." Mulder answers.  
  
They walk together to Harm´s room.  
Mulder stays in the door frame and Mac sits down again on the chair next to Harm´s bed.  
  
"Harm, this is Fox Mulder. His girlfriend lies next door. She means a lot to him, like you mean to me. Harmon Rabb jr., you are the anchor in my troubled life. I need you. Don`t die. Don't leave me. When you die I can't live anymore. I follow you. Death can't tear us apart." Mac says.  
"No." Mulder says.  
"When he dies I´ll commit suicide." she says.  
"The doctor sais he is going to be OK."  
"Yes. This time. But the next?"  
"Stop thinking."  
"I can't." Mac answers and takes Harms hand, carefully because of the IV in his hand.  
"I´ll leave the two of you alone." Mulder says and leaves the room.  
  
Outside, he can hear her talking.  
  
"Sailor, I need you, I love you. Some hours ago you have promised me a life, a house full of children. Harm, you are the most important person in my life, you´ll always be. I need you. I need someone to rely on, to confide in and to trust. I need you to share my laughters, my thoughts and disappointments." she kisses his hand softly.  
  
Mulder leaves her alone. Tears in his eyes. Her words have touched his heart.  
  
Mac stands up and walks to the window. She looks towards the sky and starts praying.  
  
"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred - let me sow love. Where there is injury - pardon. Where there is doubt - faith. Where there is despair - hope. Where there is darkness - light. Where there is sadness - joy. Oh, Divine Master, grant that I may not seek so much to be consoled, as to console. To be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive. And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. . . Lord, don't take him away from me. I need him, I love him. Harm is my anchor in my troubled life, he makes me to whom I am. I can't imagine my life without him. Please, God, don't take him away from me. . . Amen."  
  
Seven months later  
Dana Scully´s and Fox Mulder´s apartment  
0400 ZULU  
  
Scully and Mulder are sitting together at the breakfast table. She is reading the newspaper.  
  
"This can´t be!" Scully says.  
"What?"  
"I thought this name is unique." she says.  
"Which name?"  
"OK, listen: Commander and Mrs. Harmon Rabb jr. proudly announce the birth of their son, Fox Harmon Rabb."  
"I met her while you were lying on the ICU. She waited for any news of her fiancé who is her husband now. She was afraid that he could die. I comforted her. I told her about us. I said that she has to believe." Mulder tells her about the day he and Sarah met.  
"You are a good man, Fox Mulder." Scully says and smiles.  
"I know. It was a hard time for the both of us. The people we love with our hearts and souls were lying unconscious on the ICU. She thought that the curse of death hunted her."  
"And?"  
"It's not a curse anymore. Her husband has survived and now she has a son, Fox Harmon. What a name!" Mulder says.  
"The curse of death hunts many people. Remember, I have lost my father, Missy and Emily."  
"Yeah, but now we have our William and I have you. Like she has her husband and Fox Harmon."  
"A baby destroys the curse of death."  
  
The end   



End file.
